A more perfect vacuum

The girl making my latte very determinedly forgot me this morning. I could stand there for as long as I pleased, my existence was not to be admitted to under any circumstances. I cannot exactly name my offense, being male is always an excellent start to an endless list. Eventually one of the other baristas took pity on me. Now, I thought, I know you will only be even meaner to me if I let you get away with this - but I had no particular line to skip across the coffee machine at her. I am not well supplied with lines, never have one available when needed. I wonder, I thought in her direction, do you know that feeling? You are rolling along down the road, apparently making excellent progress, and suddenly, clank, and a hubcap is rolling down the road. This can't be good... Wonder if the whole vehicle will come unglued? Do you people ever have such moments, I thought in her direction. I should perhaps say this, but I know from excellent experience that this sort of thing will only confuse. Communication with the female species must always be perfect and exactly as expected, or one is doomed. There is of course the option of tying a bad tie around one's forehead and assuming one's most determined superhero expression - this can work as well.