Being Correct

I was dispatched to mow my brother's back lawn... It was waste high weeds, filled with pits the two dogs had dug in their incredible exuberance - in short a couple of days work to subdue. This was not a problem at all for me, as I had utterly nothing to do at the time, and needed the distraction. Utter unemployment is a kind of grinding tedium even if you imagine you have deep thoughts to think, and brilliant artistic endeavors to make mediocre attempts of. My brother has picked up and moved his family to Germany, apparently on a whim of his own. I could guess some change was needed, but I never really got the chance to ask him just what brought all this about. South Prairie Washington might be a bit of a narrow rut, and if one were ever to escape, the time would have to be now. So, off they went and it was time for us to rent the house, but the condition of the back yard was not going to be any help at all.

On the second day as I was finishing up, I found a small SUV parked out front. An older, heavyset woman got out and asked me if I could possibly show her the house. She said that she had made an appointment to see the house, but the real estate agent was twenty minutes late. I muttered something about just being a family member here to help out with the lawn, and I really shouldn't be interfering with the business side - that should be the real estate agent. Maybe she could try calling the agent again? I went on loading up the lawnmower, and finished all the last few things about.

The woman was obviously having no luck with the real estate agent. It is my nature to avoid people if I can possibly discover some pretext that would enable me to evade them - a fault I struggle with endlessly, with little evidence of progress. If I see someone who I know vaguely, the first thought-feeling thing that appears in my chest is - "Maybe I can avoid them... They might not see me if I crossed the street..." Things have been like this for as long as there has been a "me" so far as I can recall, and efforts of mine have not had any too much of an effect. So I stopped for a second, being determined to overcome my flaws, and generally filled with a determination to be a correct and generally civil person... I should at least be able to manage that much I tell myself. I took out a penny and flipped it six times in a sort of abbreviated, brain damaged version of casting the I Ching. This is something I do when I really would rather avoid something, but have the suspicion that I really should just gird my nether parts and deal with it. It doubtless makes me appear passing strange, but I simply would never come to a decision at all without some stratagem. This time I received the Hexagram Po / Splitting Apart. "Splitting Appart means ruin," and "It does not further one to undertake anything." Now, if I had not been so determined to Be Correct, I would have stopped right there, just avoided the woman, and gone on my way, even though I had the distinct impression that I was being rude and generally unhelpful. Instead, I walked over and opened up the garage and told the woman that I would show her the house.

The woman was quite talkative, she was raising horses not far from here... she would be living here with only her female friend... she would do some landscaping in the back yard and take care of everything... it was so peaceful and perfect out here. I told her that she would need to get in touch with the real estate agent and work out the details, and wished her luck with that, as it seemed the agent wasn't someone you could actually count on to show.

A couple of months later there are complaints from the neighbors that the people have five dogs shut up in the house while they are away, everything stinks and is covered with dog doo - a regular landlord's nightmare. Orders have been received from across the waters to evict them, but given the energetic nature of the agent, I wouldn't be hopeful. They had previously received some instruction to reduce the number of dogs which they were evidently fighting with some sort of legal action... And all of this has been brought about by my determination to Be Correct. My ongoing attempt to deal with the human race a bit more effectively. And I was warned this particular case was a bad idea for good measure.

I wonder at times if it were not perhaps better to avoid the human race altogether. I seem to be well constructed to do so, and the rewards of the attempt are generally nothing that one might hope for. Generally a hazard, or even more likely, a pebble falling into a pond without raising so much as a ripple. This attempt to improve and at least Be Correct seems to be a menace. It leaves me pushing up a steep hill with difficulty, and does nothing for judgement and foresight. I scarcely speak, but I am often glad that I at least had the sense not to say that, though I saw nothing wrong with saying that but a short moment before. At times I attempt to push myself in front of people and demand attention. The results range from confusing to edifying. Often, it seems that I am totally invisible, though I am standing in front of people yelling and waving my arms about. Then again, at times there is some sudden hostility for things which seem utterly harmless, at least as far as I can see. People are apparently quite favorable, as long as I do and say nothing... a thing highly recommended by the Tao Te Ching, but not seemingly a way to any success in our present world. In this world where each person must run their own marketing department, and battle to promote their own personal brand such an idea would seem quaint, if not actually fatal.